


Now What Is

by nerdlife4eva



Series: Nerd's Chasing Gold Zine Story [8]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Olympics, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coach Katsuki Yuuri, Coach Victor Nikiforov, Coach/Player Relationship, Competition, Enemies to Friends, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, Kissing, M/M, Olympics, Other, Paralympics, Rivals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2019-03-28 10:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13902435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdlife4eva/pseuds/nerdlife4eva
Summary: The night before Minami and Yuri's big race, everyone collides.bichiiartcreated AMAZING art of Yuri and Minami which you can findhereIT IS STUNNING!! Please give bichiiart some love!!The playlist for this AU can be found here:CG Playlist





	Now What Is

**Author's Note:**

> Zine Preorders are almost closed!!! March 9th is the last day to get your orders in!! Be the first to read the *shocking* race between Minami and Yuri :) Visit the zine blog [here](https://yoichasinggoldzine.tumblr.com)
> 
> Also, I am taking your votes now and prompts for this AU. I have contemplated writing a fic about Minami, Yuri, Victor and Yuuri going to watch the archery competition (which would include coaches Phichit and Chris and parathletes Otabek, Leo, and Guang Hong), but I am also open to other ideas!!  
> Come visit me on Tumblr or Twitter to let me know what you think!!  
> [NeRdLife4Eva Twitter](https://twitter.com/NeRdLife4Eva)  
> [n3rdlif343va Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/n3rdlif343va)
> 
> Also, please check out my other AUs which include the following Victuuri-based fics:  
> [Crash Into Me](http://archiveofourown.org/works/12527876/chapters/28528088)  
> [Be My Chef, Yuuri](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10102205)  
> [Law Firm of Katsuki, Nikiforov and Chulanont](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11084109/chapters/24724854)  
> [Katsuki's Pet Needs](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11403003/chapters/25540758)

The chaos of any athlete compound has always left Yuuri with a throbbing ache in the back of his head. As a competitor he attempted to avoid the socializing and outrageous partying, hiding away in his room whenever he could successfully avoid Phichit’s demands to drag him back into civilization. As a coach the feeling was different, watching the athletes gather, their spirits high and their excitement higher. A strange sense of nostalgia washed over him as Yuuri watched Minami get absorbed by his peers, leaning against the wall and silently thanking his luck that none of the other coaches appeared to have been interested in giving last minute lectures to their athletes about appropriate behavior. He trusted Minami, but he was cautious by nature and felt the last-minute warnings were warranted even if they were only to ease his own mind.

Pushing away from the wall, Yuuri only nodded in Minami’s direction before heading towards the beach, hell bent on out running the lurking demon of anxiety.

* * *

 

“Leave me alone!” Yuri snapped his arm out of Victor’s grasp, not bothering to throw a scowl over his shoulder. He didn’t want to socialize with the other parathletes. Like the rest of the world they would only pity him, and Yuri wanted nothing but respect and fear from his fellow competitors. Grinding his teeth as Victor moved to block his path, Yuri angrily reached down to adjust his prosthetic, finally leveling a heated glare in Victor’s direction.

“Yuri, this is a tradition,” Victor pleaded, knowing that the fire in Yuri’s eyes was going to drive him to push himself. Tonight was not the time to be running and training. “The race is tomorrow. Risking injury because you are so stupidly driven to prove you are stronger than everyone else is idiotic. Everyone knows you’re strong. That’s why you’re here!” Frustrated, Victor threw his hands in the air. He was the only coach that would take Yuri on after he had lost his leg and the last few weeks had really emphasized why. Taking a calming breath, he rubbed his forehead and tried to reason with his young athlete. “Look, if you don’t want to go downstairs with all of them, we could go get something to eat. There are places around here and you could use the carbs for tomorrow. My treat?”

“Get out of my way,” Yuri growled, taking a step toward Victor. He didn’t want to eat. He didn’t want to hang out. He wanted to run, and run was exactly what he was going to do. Threatening an elbow in Victor’s side, he saw his coach concede. Ignoring the concern flooding Victor’s eyes, Yuri yanked open the door and fled.

Victor counted to one hundred before he followed, praying that he knew his athlete well enough to know where he was headed.

* * *

 

The breeze was refreshingly cool as Yuuri raced over the sand, trailing the edge of the water where the parathlon would take place the next day. In his head he recited the check points, mentally reviewing every clasp and buckle on Minami’s equipment. Unlike those triathletes with one prosthetic, Minami had to factor in the time for two. It had been an uphill battle to have him qualified at the level he was, but Yuuri trusted Minami’s judgment on the matter. It was Yuuri’s job to provide support, not evaluate Minami’s capabilities. Letting the projected course of the race play through his mind, Yuuri let the muscle memory of his years in training carry his feet forward over the sand.

Lost in his own thoughts, he almost missed the stumble of a body moving down the beach from him. It was subtle and easily recovered, but Yuuri could spot loose equipment from a mile away even in the dark with sweat dripping into his eyes. Speeding up, he sprinted toward the other runner, registering a few feet too late that he was running up on Yuri Plisetsky.

Yuri’s leg had begun to burn, the skin where his own leg ended and his prosthetic began feeling raw as he ran over the uneven beach. Before his injury, the sand had been his favorite medium for running, but after his leg had been taken from him, Victor had been strict about the surfaces where he could train. Cursing to fight the pain, Yuri kept pushing as the tears began to roll over his cheeks. Footsteps behind him had him turning his head, causing his balance to falter.

Strong arms caught him before he hit the ground, rolling him to the side to land on the form of another person. Cursing again, Yuri shoved away, scrambling to identify who had tackled him. “You!” he screamed, shoving away across the sand like an uncoordinated crab. “Are you trying to sabotage me?” Spitting into the sand, Yuri wiped his face with the back of his hand, glaring daggers into the exasperated face of Yuuri Katsuki.

“Oh yes, I am so concerned about you beating Minami, I decided that I would save your pretty face from being destroyed by sand burn.” Rolling his eyes, Yuuri dusted the sand from his own pants, bringing his knees up to rest his arms on them. “Give it a rest, Plisetsky. I saved your face. The least you could say is thank you.” With Minami, Yuuri was always gentle and calm, pushing and demanding but in a way that kept Minami motivated. Everything he knew about Yuri Plisetsky told him Yuri wouldn’t have tolerated that approach, so Yuuri didn’t use it.

“Whatever,” Yuri spat again, wincing as he rearranged his leg. It still felt off and he gingerly prodded the area where skin met artificial limb, wincing at the pain he discovered there.

“I can help,” Yuuri offered, his tone was more challenging than cautious, “that is if you’ll let me.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the same tub of chaffing cream that Minami used for competitions. He had convinced everyone that the chaffing cream idea was something he had found on the internet, but really it was a tactic from his training days, when his thick thighs spent too many days rubbing together and were left raw and painful. Tapping the tube against his knee, Yuuri patiently waited for Yuri to consider his offer.

Everything Yuri knew about the man sitting next to him made Yuri want to accept the help. Yuuri Katsuki was known not for his impeccable social skills, but for his kindness toward younger athletes. Yuri knew all about Yuuri’s sponsorships of Minami, and he had long ago begun the process of attempting to hide his jealously of their relationship. Victor was a good coach, even when he pissed Yuri off, but Yuuri Katsuki was the coach everyone wanted. Grumbling his agreement under protest, Yuri only mildly tensed as Yuuri shifted closer.

Gentle fingers worked open the connection at Yuri’s knee letting the cool breeze hit his irritated skin and making him hiss. He watched as Yuuri carefully curled a shirt sleeve over his hand, stroking the cloth over the indented area to remove the small flecks of sand. His brows furrowed under his glasses as he painstakingly cleaned each clasp, blowing and dusting away the sand that had wormed its way in. Lost in the methodic way Yuuri worked, Yuri missed when Yuuri began speaking. Snapping his head up, he glared at Yuuri’s amused smile. “What?” he scowled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I’m going to assume your coach told you not to run on sand?” Yuuri handed Yuri the leg, positioning it so it laid against Yuri’s shoulder as to not be further exposed to the grainy earth beneath them. “If that’s your competition equipment, you need to have it cleaned in the morning. And have your clasps checked, you’re loose in two places.” Touching a hand to the curved portion of Yuri’s leg, Yuuri looked back to him for permission. When Yuri nodded, he let his leg be guided to a rest on Yuuri’s thigh. Working quickly, Yuuri used his clean sleeve to wipe the area before rolling the end of the chafing stick over Yuri’s skin.

“You don’t flinch when you touch it.” The thought escaped Yuri before he could stop it, his cheeks burning red as he ducked his head.

“Yuri,” the name was a sigh as Yuuri capped the stick and placed it back in his pocket. “I don’t know what you see when you look at your leg, but what I see is someone who got the raw end of the deal, someone struck down by bad luck and someone who was strong enough to fight back.” Standing, Yuuri reached for Yuri’s prosthetic, before grabbing him under the arm and hauling him up. Cautiously, Yuuri lifted Yuri’s hand to his shoulder and dropped to one knee, carefully guiding the artificial limb back into place.

“What do you know,” Yuri looked toward the rolling waves, feeling the threatening sting of tears as Yuuri’s fingers continued to gently move over his leg. Victor and Yuuri seemed to both share a quiet level of compassion, a fact that Yuri tried to push away when he was able to stand on two feet again.

“I don’t know what you’re going through,” Yuuri’s statement was sincere, his face not faltering when Yuri turned to glower at him. “But I do know the pressure of having a country’s eyes on you. I know the pressure of running from your own perceived weaknesses.” Taking a step back to put space between them, Yuuri glanced over Yuri’s shoulder. “Win or lose, it is your choice how you take it. But you have already won the first battle, getting yourself here when you could have given up.” Nodding, Yuuri’s eyes were focused behind Yuri who twisted in the sand to come face-to-face with his own coach. “Victor, I promise I wasn’t intimidating your athlete.” There was a hint of teasing to Yuuri’s words and Victor’s stressed expression flitted into a smile for a split second. “I’ll let you two talk.” With a wave of his hand, Yuuri set off at a sprint, heading further down the beach.

“It had to be sand,” Victor sighed, putting his hands on his hips as he faced Yuri.

“Yeah,” Yuri shrugged, unable to hide his smirk. Victor didn’t sound mad and Yuri didn’t have it in him to fight anymore. “I’m not going to apologize,” looking up through his fringe, Yuri studied Victor’s face. “I can’t be like you. I don’t know how. I couldn’t have been like you, even if I was normal.”

“I know,” dropping his hands to his sides, Victor let out a breath, trying not to chuckle at Yuri’s dubious facial expression. “I need to stop expecting you to be. This is your race, and your life. It would probably be good for my mental health if I remembered that.”

“Also good for your receding hairline,” Yuri taunted, feeling some of the tension release from his shoulders when Victor pushed him. It wasn’t a storybook life-altering moment, but Yuri felt the weight on his shoulders lessen. Shrugging, he looked back toward the athlete’s village. “Guess I should head back, huh? Good night’s sleep and all that.” He rolled his eyes when Victor beamed at him, ready to hear some sort of ridiculous praise about making good decisions.

“I’ll walk you back,” was all Victor said, nodding toward the lights in the distance with a soft smile. Faint footsteps in the sand had them both looking back, spying Yuuri’s running form carrying him back in their direction.

“Better idea,” Yuri took a cautious step forward, relieved to find the uncomfortable feeling at his joint mostly gone. “Stay here. Stop him. Maybe make a good decision in your life for once. Maybe put all that you’re not alone nonsense you preach into practice.” Punching Victor’s arm, Yuri moved away. He knew that in some weird cosmic way, Victor and Yuuri were probably meant for each other, and Yuri smiled to himself thinking that maybe he could help it along. Vowing to never reveal that thought out loud, he carefully traversed the sand, heading back with the intention of taking a warm bath and passing out as soon as possible.

Nervously standing at the edge of the water, Victor tried to pretend like he wasn’t timing every one of Yuuri’s steps. Years of competing with Yuuri left Victor without any misconception as to how fast Yuuri could be when pushed. Anxiously, Victor twirled his fingers together counting down the last few seconds of solitude.

“Did he go back without a fight?” Slowing at Victor’s side, Yuuri began to stretch, feeling the burn in his muscles from his disjointed run. A thrum of nerves danced in his belly, a product of his realization regarding Victor’s untouchable beauty, especially when highlighted by the rising moonlight. Twilight had quickly slipped away, leaving the world lingering in the natural glow of the moon. Stretching his arms above his head, Yuuri begged his heart to slow down, losing the battle when Victor’s blue eyes fell on his own.

“It seems that you knocked the fight out of him,” Victor fought the urge to let his eyes drop to the skin exposed by Yuuri’s rising shirt. “I would ask you how you did it, but instead I’m going to simply say thank you.” Waving a hand behind him toward the logs lining the back portion of the beach, Victor nodded his head in the same direction. “Want to sit for a minute?” He felt his heart flip in his chest as Yuuri nodded, their shoulders bumping together as they moved over the sand.

This felt familiar. Yuuri couldn’t ignore the warmth radiating from Victor’s body as they continue to linger in each other’s space. Sinking down next to Victor on the log, Yuuri remembered the last time they say this close, on a night similar to this one with heat hanging in the air and the world darkened into night. That had been the last Olympic village they had shared together, and the last night before Yuuri had ashamedly announced his retirement to the world. Feeling the embarrassment leak back in, Yuuri crossed his arms to lean forward on his knees, wondering why he had agreed to this.

“I’m not a good coach,” Victor said the words out loud for the first time since he had taken on Yuri. The thought was always there, like a buzzing in the back of his mind, but he had never said them out loud. The last time he was this close to Yuuri, the night that life had changed completely, he had also made similar hidden admissions. He had talked of retirement and babbled about being unsure if he could continue to compete, his tongue loosened by alcohol and his heart warmed by Yuuri’s caring encouragement.

“None of us are,” Yuuri responded, after letting the silence hang between them. “How can we be when we’ve never been in their shoes? But we care, and we learn, and we keep trying. That’s the best we can do.” Watching the waves roll onto the sand, Yuuri let his mind settle.

“What do you think he wants from me? Who do I need to be to him?” Victor furrowed his brow, staring down at the sand at his feet, knowing the question wasn’t only about Yuri. Yakov, as his coach, wanted Victor to be the best athlete in every race. His parents wanted him to be famous and make enough money to support them. His fans wanted him to be suave and live up to every wild fantasy they had about him. It was different with Yuri. _Hell_ , Victor thought kicking the sand lightly, _it was different with both Yuris_. Nothing he had been to anyone else seemed to please either of them, and he found himself grunting in frustration.

Shaking his head, Yuuri tried to wrap his mind around Victor’s question. “Be Victor,” Yuuri said simply, as if the solution was obvious. “Don’t be anyone else and the rest will fall into place.”

Considering Yuuri’s words, Victor felt his face flush. He remembered the last time Yuuri had spoken of the value of Victor as himself, the words brushed against Victor’s ear on the tail of alcohol-warmed breath. They had been teetering on the edge of finally falling together, and all of Victor’s follow up questions stuttered to a halt in his mind as the memories of that night came flooding back. 

Turning his head, Yuuri peered up at Victor wondering how they had gotten here again. In their early years of competing, Yuuri had looked up to Victor more than anyone else and Victor had been an unstoppable force of encouragement and competitiveness. Toward the end of their careers, they had found themselves engaged in playful banter, fans of their sport openly taking bets on how long it would be until they ended up in each other’s arms. Yuuri thought that’s where they were headed on their last night in the village, his soul and heart bared to Victor for the taking. But Victor had never come back to knock on his door, and Yuuri had announced his retirement the next day, ashamed of his admissions and Victor’s rejection.

The lingering silence wasn’t uncomfortable, even as the memories and questions began to roll through Victor’s mind. Victor found a quiet reassurance simply by being near Yuuri. He had always enjoyed Yuuri as a competitor and had fallen victim to their fans’ wishes for them to be something more. Victor wanted it then, as he still wanted it now, knowing that it was probably the only goal he would never achieve. Quietly returning Yuuri’s gaze, Victor felt the need to know. “Do you think...” swallowing hard, Victor couldn’t believe the overwhelming nerves that had built in his stomach. “Why didn’t you respond to any of my messages? After that night I mean.” He couldn’t hold Yuuri’s gaze as he asked the question, dropping his eyes to the sand again with the blood pounding in his ears.

“You left,” Yuuri could feel the shake in his voice, swallowing to repress the emotions rising within him. “I gave you my room number and you said you would be right there. But you left instead. I fell asleep waiting for you and the next morning you were gone.”

Dumb-founded, Victor stared at Yuuri for a moment. Yuuri wasn’t wrong. Victor had returned to his room, packing the necessities for spending a night with Yuuri. But the phone call had come, Mila crying through the little-known details of Yuri’s fate. In the van Victor learned that Yuri had been rushed to the hospital and was fading fast, an unknown illness stealing the life from him. He hadn’t been able to think beyond the guilt that had exploded inside of him. The lake, Yuri’s cut, the fact that none of them were there when Yuri had collapsed. His mind had focused to one point, and that was getting home and praying that Yuri would survive. He explained all of this, watching Yuuri as he took it all in. “Didn’t you see the news? Didn’t you see my messages on Instagram?” 

Scrunching his eyes closed, Yuuri shook his head. “I announced my retirement the next morning and then I turned off my phone. I didn’t stay for closing ceremonies, scared that I would run into you after what I thought was you rejecting me.” Dropping his forehead directly onto his knees, Yuuri shook his head. “I refused to talk to anyone and I left without even talking to Phichit. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone finding out that I had tried to seduce you… and failed. It was more than a week before I heard the news about Yuri and more than a month before I went on Instagram again. Then I couldn’t make myself respond to you, I didn’t want to hear you say that it was a mistake.” 

Victor placed a tentative hand on Yuuri’s back. “If you had known, would you have retired?” The thought that he had potentially ruined Yuuri’s career was now sitting heavily in his stomach.

“Yes… maybe… I don’t know,” Yuuri signed resting his cheek on his knee facing Victor. “That night you had talked about your retirement and I couldn’t imagine racing with or without you, so I made the decision.”

“I’m sorry,” Victor felt the threat of tears stinging his eyes. His hand twitched, the urge to touch Yuuri again became painfully strong. “You were my motivation for so long and I ruined yours with my carelessness. The same way I ruined Yuri’s life by being a terrible example.” His voice hitched and Victor buried his face in his hands.

“You can’t really believe that.” Wrapping his fingers around Victor’s wrists, Yuuri pulled them from his face. “I looked up to you. I wanted to be you. And then… I wanted to beat you, but that’s because then I would know I was the best.”

“What about being with me?” Victor couldn’t stop himself from asking. One way or another he needed Yuuri’s answer, more than he needed oxygen or water. “Is there… any chance you still want that?”

All the denial Yuuri had been feeding himself over the last four years disappeared with Victor’s quiet question. The doubts about Victor’s sincerity in his flirting, the arguments he had valiantly waged against Phichit’s determined opinions, and the reservations he had with regard to Minami’s encouragements to go for it with Victor died an instant death in Yuuri’s mind. Feeling his smile slowly turn the corners of his mouth toward the starry sky, Yuuri wrapped his fingers in Victor’s, déjà vu erupting in his mind. “I… yes, I want that.” His heart burst when Victor threw himself into Yuuri’s arms, stalling any further response by pressing them together in a kiss.

All of Victor’s willpower was needed to pull away from kissing Yuuri. Standing up, he offered Yuuri his hand. “I have a proposal.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Nikiforov,” Yuuri joked, feeling light-headed and ready to burst at the seams with his overwhelming joy.

Chuckling, Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand tighter. “I was going to say, how about a date? Whoever’s athlete loses tomorrow has to pay.” Swinging their joined hands, Victor pulled Yuuri back toward the chaos reigning at the athlete compound.

“Deal,” Yuuri agreed, sneaking a glance at Victor and smiling when he discovered Victor looking back at him.

Together, they walked away from the beach and toward the promise of new beginnings.

* * *

 

“Plisetsky! Wait up!”

Rolling his eyes at the sound of Minami’s voice, Yuri attempted to slam the door closed button with his finger. Unfortunately, Minami was too fast, slipping into the elevator long before the doors could close. “What?” Yuri scoffed, kicking at the carpet and avoiding Minami’s eyes.

“You didn’t want to come out with all of us?” Minami leaned against the back of the elevator surveying Yuri’s wind-blown hair and surly expression. “Please don’t tell me you were training.” Gawking when Yuri looked away from him, Minami reached out to shake Yuri’s shoulder. “You have got to learn to relax. There are good people here, and we don’t bite.”

The carpet was a very interesting pattern of puke green and murder red, so Yuri studied it intently to avoid responding to Minami. He sounded remarkably like Yuuri and it was making Yuri’s ears burn. It felt too close to actual caring for Yuri’s liking and he kicked the floor again trying to give Minami the hint to leave him alone.

A ding interrupted their silence and Minami sighed, stepping forward as the doors eased open. Yuri hadn’t even noticed Minami hitting a floor number and he grumbled under his breath as the elevator stopped.

“You know,” Minami stood at the threshold of the elevator preventing it from closing. “What you are going to do tomorrow? It is a big thing. A really big thing. Maybe bigger than the rest of us… combined. I wish you could understand what that means. I wish you knew how much we all admire you. But most all of, I wish you would get the stick out of your ass and learn to trust us.” Stepping back, Minami signed again. “Get some rest, I’ll see you at the starting line.”

The door slid closed as the elevator began to rise. Yuri slumped back onto the wall, letting his head bang back. It wasn’t that he didn’t want friends or that he thought every athlete here was bad. Hanging out with them though, it felt like a permanent admission that Yuri was one of them and he wasn’t sure he could handle that. In the most treacherous parts of his mind were the dreams that someday modern science would discover a way to give him his real leg back. He knew this was ridiculous, but the thought still banged around in his mind, wreaking havoc on his sanity.

The elevator opened again, revealing an empty hallway. Moving toward their door, Yuri let Minami’s words roll around in his mind. Minami talked like Yuuri did, with sincerity and honesty wound into every word. Yuri could feel his heart shifting, the determined doubt fading as he reached his door. Using his key card, Yuri let himself in, throwing himself down on the bed and refusing to think anymore for the night.

Tomorrow was the day that he would show the world what he was made of and then he could contemplate the possibility of a friendship with his biggest rival. Letting out a tired hum, Yuri flicked off his shoes and buried his face in his pillow. _Tomorrow_ , he told himself, _tomorrow would determine everything._

**Author's Note:**

> I promised I would fix it! 
> 
> Thank you to the lovely [atelerixe](https://atelerixe.tumblr.com) who adds the hyphens and removes the commas which destroy my life ;).


End file.
